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I have had such an amazing day. I felt so sharp. And I was/am experiencing such clarity. So much so that I was talking quite fast, and I was hyper. I feel/felt amazing. I came home and spent time with my husband in the yard while he painted. I feel so exuberant. And incredibly happy. This evening on the way home in the car I'm literally bouncing from one topic of conversation to another and i feel so full of energy and life... THEN IT HIT ME.
I realize that I have not taken my medication for bi-polar in three days! What I am experiencing is MY REAL PERSONALITY. The part of me that is shut away when I am medicated. The medication dulls me, slows me down, makes me incredibly forgetful. I immediate felt soooo empty and sad. I LOVE how I feel. I love all this energy and life coming from me. But... its dangerous for me to be unmedicated. I ran out of meds Saturday and had to call in a prescription to fill... I forgot to pick it up.
Its me! I'm here, I'm here right now. But about 24 hours after I take my medication this person I am right now will fade away into the darkness.
I'm so sad. With such a great day, energy, laughter, clarity.... I am today... I'm sad.... so sad.
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 コメント
You are strong. You will be you no matter what...
2014年 04月 8日 投稿者: lohunter
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Thank you Lohunter...:/ I appreciate your kind comment!
2014年 04月 8日 投稿者: Deborahg382
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But if you need your meds, by all means, take them. You don't want to do yourself more harm than good in the long run. Take care, Deborahg
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I would love to think of something to lift you up, I always go to the Bible to encourage me, there are many wonderful encouraging verses. There is a website that sends you a verse everyday and weekly prayer.
2014年 04月 8日 投稿者: karenromiaih2002
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Thank you LuC2. You are right. And it is true it is very likely to be very harmful if I stayed off my medication. To be honest is the only reason why I force myself to take them, because of my behavior in the past. Medication keeps me safe, not matter how much I love to feel like the real me.. its better to stay alive then to risk the dangers.
Karenomiah2002, yes.. there are many lovely scriptures. One that I love is found in Isaiah 33:24 “No Resident Will Say: ‘I Am Sick’”
2014年 04月 8日 投稿者: Deborahg382
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