Thank you all for the very kind, supportive and endearing comments on my journal yesterday. I could feel your prayers, love, positive thoughts and hugs over the internet. You are very special people and I am fortunate to have you as friends.
And you're right - it would be fantastic to just head for the horizon to share a beer and the sunset. However, it is not a possibility. I posed the idea last night and was reminded of all of the things beyond the oxygen concentrator that would be needed in order to maintain his sense of comfort outside of his own specially customized 'bio-dome'. We would need a U-Haul of equipment in addition to a guarantee he'd have the same size TV (73" screen), satellite channels and central heat & air with his own personal remote thermostat control among so many other things. It would be easier to set up a klieg light and dump a foot of sand into the living room.
But we did spend the evening (well, not the whole evening but at least an extended commercial break) fantasizing about it as well as reminiscing past adventures. Back in the day he was the icon of unpredictable spontaneity. I kept a bag packed in the trunk because it was not uncommon for 'going for a drive' to involve crossing a couple of state lines and an overnight stay.
My friend had loaned me her 'happy light' with dismal results. I think like the vitamins I had set the bar too high for expectations against the hormonal hell that blows in with the rainclouds.
The 'beginning of the end' from Monday - well, that wasn't the first time to have to face his mortality nor will it be the last, nor will I make that the focus of our lives every day. It was just the most unfortunate timing. Note to self: try not to mix reality with rainy days.
Thank you all again. Please know although I missed commenting on your journals the past few days I did read them and I do care about you too.
Bella
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