kattayの日記, 2018年 03月 11日

Youngest grandson's birthday party was today. He is so cute, of course! Loves tractors. He had been asleep, was a bit cranky until he (with a lot of help) opened his first tractor present. Eyes lit up like a Christmas tree! So much fun!! So much food and cake. No, I didn't! Had some pepperoni, salami and cheese. Skipped the cake. Well, it was white anyway. A victory, nonetheless.

I'm still aggravated with myself. Such a happy day and I had this creepy jibe because I could just feel my last ex staring at me so much and so many times going out of his way to come near me. Not my imagination. The "flight or fight" feeling happens every time I'm in the same vicinity as him. I can almost feel my skin breaking out in a rash. I'm always hiding behind a smile. We do speak and act civil toward each other. Yes, he is supposed to be at every function concerning my two youngest. And no, he hasn't caused me any harm in the last several years. Still creeps me out. Well, now that I got that off my chest, I feel better.

Onward!!

ダイエットカレンダーを表示, 2018年 03月 11日:

1118 kcal

脂質: 97.08g | たんぱく質: 54.39g | 炭水化物: 15.89g. 朝食: Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Trader Joe's Brown Cage Free Eggs (Large), Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds). 昼食: Hormel Original Pepperoni Slices, Dynasty Oolong Tea, Hormel Hard Salami, Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Chicken of the Sea Premium Whole Baby Clams. 夕食: Mission Avocado, Hormel Hard Salami, Dynasty Oolong Tea. 軽食/その他: Planters Lightly Salted Mixed Nuts, Walnuts, Twinings Chai Tea. もっと...

4355 kcal

運動: テレビで見る - 8 時間, 歩く（ゆっくり） - 時速3km - 1 時間, 家事 - 20 分, デスクワーク - 6 時間　 10 分, 睡眠 - 7 時間　 55 分, 健康体操（軽め、家庭内運動など） - 15 分, ウエイトトレーニング（ふつう） - 20 分. もっと...

39 人のサポーターいいね！

It gets easier with time 🙏🏻

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: Carol Vaquera

Just be like “one step closer and I’ll be feeding you. 👊🏻 a knuckle sandwich! 😎”

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: DEADPOOL12345

Hi Carol Vaquera. That is the thing...it has been more than enough time! My kids are grown with kids of their own. Plenty of time has gone by. It is just a nagging body response that I have to stifle every time we are in the same area.

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: kattay

:) DEADPOOL12345. Paint that picture! That would certainly be tables turned and I would probably be put in a straight jacket!! But I had to smile with your comment. Thanks, it was great!!

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: kattay

Sorry for you have a creepy ex but the grandson sounds adorable! I am in awe that you could walk by the cake! Kudos!

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: Gingerk65

Kattay, somehow sharing on here eases things. I think it's because you didn't keep it inside, like I did for years. Even though my most abusive ex and I have a truce and do talk occasionally when things come up I still often after a contact with him have nightmares or flashbacks, though less and less as time passes and I deal with it more openly. FYI I do not have any contact with my 2nd ex, no kids no need to and do not want to.

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: wholefoodnut

Thanks Gingerk65. Yes, GS certainly is adorable. I felt really good about passing up the cake and ice cream. There were enough people there that no one really noticed. Who wants to hear "Are you sick or something?" :)

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: kattay

I know what you mean wholefoodnut. I still have those nightmares and flashbacks after these family times. Loved his family so I try to pay my respects when the inevitable happens. Can't sleep right for a few nights after each encounter with him. Jumpy. I'm thinking this is just part of my life and have to just deal with it.

2018年 03月 12日投稿者: kattay

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