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I am having A DAY. UGH! Have too much I need to do today along with responsibilities that are a weight on my shoulders. I feel overwhelmed and want to block everything out rather than deal with each one at a time. I feel panicky and having a little trouble breathing. Now the breathing, that could be a combinations of many things. Yesterday, I ate like crap...serious crap of which I payed the consequences this morning *ahem, please excuse me* in the bathroom. NEVER again. No more crap food. It's taken a bit, but it's sinking in that bad food makes me feel bad in more than one way. Which brings me back to my point on breathing..bad food, thyroid issues, panic attack, meds possibly needing changed due to changes in my lifestyle and eating, being alone-nobody to hold me when I need the touch of another human being just for the sake of comfort, etc, etc. All kinds of things could be causing the breathing issue.
Anyway, for the moment, I'm lying on my sofa, covered up from the cold while the last of the laundry is drying. While all of this 'crap' is flying through my head, I am focusing on my exercise and eating. So far, all I've had to eat is half a can of organic pea soup (can't imagine why I feel irritated and shaky!! haha!) But I almost screwed up royally this morning. I went to McDs for a crappy quick breakfast. Thankfully I got there too late and they were serving lunch. NO WAY I'm eating that. So I came back home. I've had a few organic tortilla chips with guacamole too. But nothing substantial enough to be called a meal today. I don't feel like cooking, thinking, moving...anything. Yet I have to return stuff to the library, I have to drop off important papers, I have to shop for this week's meals for Matt and I (wanted to do the month...ain't happening. can't focus), and should clean the house. Little things, but they all feel like huge tasks. I need to figure out a few of my own 'microwave' meals so when I'm like this...I can still eat healthy and not derail all my efforts.
I am looking forward to seeing my thyroid and family doctors this coming week. I have many questions, concerns and things to boast about....and yet the thought of putting together a list of this items is overwhelming at this moment also and makes me want to cry. UGH!
I was hoping that writing on here would help me, but not so much. As long as I keep my main goal in focus everything else will work itself out today. And if not...tomorrow is a new day. Gotta remember that.
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