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I always have problems allowing other people to dictate what I should look like. I look at my coworkers or at other girls at the beach, and I wonder why I can't be that thin. Girls say things like, "Well, you're not that big... I mean you can lose the weight if you want to." My boyfriend is always hesitant to let me lose any weight, even though I was 10 pounds lighter a year ago. He gets concerned because he knows of my history and he doesn't think 130 lbs is healthy for me. I hate it because there always is this tug of war on me with what people think is too fat or what people think is too skinny. I know I feel best around 130 - about myself and with my movements. I just want to feel thin and happy - but I don't know where that happy medium is for everyone. I guess there isn't one - but I need to find a way to get to a weight where I'M comfortable and stop caring what other people think.
*Sigh* what a long road.
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